Spanking For Kobi

[Kobi Baby]

i LOVE the title. Thanks for the poll, RevJoe.

I am against the ban. Here is my opinion in a nutshell. I wrote this in response to a post on another thread, but I'll copy it here until I dredge up an e-mail I sent out to some people a while back about the ban.

Kids can really be a handful. Lucky for you, my generation is bringing back spanking. I don't have kids yet, but when I do, bad behavior = spankings. I'm not talking about beating them down or any other kind of abuse, I'm talking about spanking. People my age, we were spanked when we were kids and we all turned out fine. What's so different about kids now that you can't spank them or talk to them in an authoritative tone. Like new generation genetics have mutated all of a sudden to be over sensitive, and to have a "scarred for life" response to any form of discipline. You don't see anyone my age in a mental institution with severe paranoia or thoughts of suicide because they were spanked... You see these kinds of things when people are abused, or raped. That's like saying "You're allergic to grapes? Oh, well then don't eat potatos either". It just doesn't make sense. In conclusion, I don't care what people say. I say mind your own business.

This was a quick, to the point, way of saying how I feel.

I, too, am VERY against any form of abuse. But a quick (and we all know, fairly painless) tap on the rear will teach you not to do it again, because it is wrong. That, to me, is not abuse, its discipline. Now if you can raise your child and they listen when you tell them something, and you don't have to spank them, more power to you. But when words do not work, action must be taken. When your actions get out of hand, I agree that someone should step in.

My parents spanked me, and I thank them for it. I deserved it when I did get it. I didn't get spanked for dropping a plate and breaking it, because that is an accident, but outright doing things that I KNEW were wrong....like when I was like 8, and I had to go home from playing at the neighbors house (with kids my age) to get ready for bed because it was a school night, and when my mom was in the other room, I sneakily left and went back over there. She knew exactly where I was, walked over there, got me, and I got a spanking when I got home, and a long talk about why it was wrong. I never got spankings without explinations. I got them when I knew I deserved them. These are the things I'm talking about. This is why I am against the ban.

[brooksie2]

Unfourtunatly the majority of the population doesnt take the time to explain. Where your mother might have been doing you a favor, many parents just hit their kids. Its just a way to shut them up. An easy out. An easy solution. They are so caught up in their lives, and all the problems this CHILD is bringing them, there is a frustration that can lead to more than a love tap.

[Revj0e]

I think waht it comes down to is people cannot control themselves, and since they cant, it is easier to just ban it rather than do nothing and hope for the best. Im going into teaching and you would not belive how much emphasis is put on all the things we have to watch for to signal abuse.

SOme people take it too far and that is what is going to ruin it for the rest of those who do punich in moderation and with extreme caution.

[brooksie2]

Yea, Im not saying that every one who spanks their kids beats them. But the truth of the whole thing is that many do. Too many do. And too many dont think of the consequences. Too many can't see the difference. Too many lose their tempers. Too many die. And far too many will turn around and do it to someone else.

[Revj0e]

thats the biggest problem... I beat my kids and they WILL in turn more than likly beat thir kids and so on and so on. I am in favor of the ban bc, lets be honest with each other, if you spank your kid, your still going to even if it is banned. But I would not want to be you if you beat your kid and cops or somehting get invloved... you have not only just beat your kid which is illegal... youve just broken the ban and it SHOULD increase the punishment.

[razeraze]

Violence is predetermined. Aggression and dominance is deeply rooted in the reptile brain. Pounding the fists and throwing a tantrum is instinct not learned behavior. Much like kids who hit their parents. Passive parents get hit by kids fairly often because the child is setting up acceptable behavior and dominance. Again I am not saying beat your kids and never reward them, I am saying punish your kids when appropriate but be sure it is not an aggressive response on your part. You also have to balance it with rewards for good behavior and time outs for mildly bad behavior.

Case and point, kid pets cat. Kid gets praise and appreciated. Kid smacks cat, kid gets a no" and is taken away from cat. Kid chokes cat, hands get tapped, "no" and taken away from cat.

Also my children will learn self defense at an early age like many children do. Martial arts (especially old school teachers) use punishment to keep things from getting out of hand. Not only physical punishment but exercise punishment. Mental punishment can be worse than physical and more detrimental so again we must no were to tow the line.

[danktat]

I think the lack of the ability to spank is what is turning this society into what it is. The violence isn't subsiding because a child can call 911, it is escalating. Today kids are hitting and attacking teachers in schools because they know that there is really nothing of consequence (they don't understand getting kicked out means a life of hardship) that can be done. That would have never happened in the days where a shop teacher could lift you up off the floor with that paddle that had the holes drilled in it.

There are those (just like anything else) that are inevitably going to go too far. You have to treat that on a case by case basis and NOT blaket a law that simply bans. A ban is a cop out for those who don't want to spend the time to evaluate each and every case.

Most of the time reasoning with a child is useless until they have enough life experiences to understand the logic. Timeout will only work if there are further consequences that will result from not going to timeout. I have seen parents spend more time trying to keep a child in timeout than they actually sit in it. "Time out OR you will get a spanking" tends to make it a bit more of an effective tool.

Spankings are punnishments not rehabilitation tools. They aren't supposed to feel good. They are supposed to act as a deterant and a behavoral modification tool until which point the child can reason "why" something shouldn't be done. Injuring a child is (in my opinion) vastly different than spanking one.

As a society we are becoming a bit too concerned with the "feelings" of children. Let me explain. . . What we are doing is teaching them that what they think, desire, want etc...really makes a differnce in life. Unfortunately life doesn't work like that. If you get caught doing something wrong and you are over 18 the court system doesn't "reason" with you. They punnish you. If you grow up to get a job and feel you boss must "compromise" with you then you will likely not hold a job very long....you will be fired. We are, in the interest of protecting children, sending them out with a lack of preparation for the harshness that life really has. Not just that but there is a pervasive lack of respect now days for any authority figure because there was never a "fear" for the consequences that authority can inflict. Fear is an earlier emotion than respect (which must be developed).

I am sure I am going to catch alot of flack for that "unpopular" postion but I see the effects of not administering appropriate consequences. Spanking shouldn't be the first option but it should none the less remain an option.

[brooksie2]

Its classical conditioning is what it is. Its just like if your parents smoke cigarettes you are more than likely to grow up to be a smoker. If you get hit, spanked, beaten, what ever, you have a greater chance of turning around and doing it to your kids.

[brooksie2]

I certaintly dont believe in letting your children do what ever they want, with no punishments or consequences... Just dont to it with the back of your hand.

[Kobi Baby]

Well that kind of stuff is wrong. And it ruins "discipline" for the parents who do it with care, not with anger.

I got my warnings and when I did not heed them, I got spankings. When it goes into a strong WHAP with no explination and the child is there stunned, not even knowing the root of the situation, then yes, I agree with you, Brooksie, and RevJoe. But this goes into irresponsible parents...not spanking.